Happy Birthday Dad, you would have been 57 today.

Hello, Beautiful!

I have a bit of a different post today, it's not makeup related at all - so I'm sorry about that. Regular beauty related posts will resume tomorrow. Today, however, is a special day for me and my family. It's November 26th and more specifically, my father's birthday. He would have been 57 years old today, but sadly he is no longer with us.

My dad suddenly passed away from a heart attack this past July, and life hasn't been the same since. I miss him EVERY SINGLE DAY and I'd do anything to see him or talk to him just one more time. People say it gets easier, and I believe it will, but I still struggle. Some days are pretty good but I still have some really rough days and struggle to accept what happened in July.

Everyday I remember him. Everyday I miss him. And I try to think of the happiest and funniest times with him so I'm able to laugh and smile at the thought of my dad. But there are so many things he's missing out on. So, so, so many things I want to tell him and have him know. But I know he is watching over me, my son, and everyone in my family and can still share in our lives from afar, from above, from right next to us for all we know.

I don't want to make this post get too sad or sappy, because I try to keep my blog strictly beauty related and not bring in anything too personal, but my dad was very special to me and today is his birthday so today I take a day to reflect, celebrate and remember. At 5:00pm EST I will release balloons up into the sky. My mom and family from Pennsylvania are doing it too, as is my dad's sister up in Maine.

Happy Birthday Dad. I love you and miss you. We all do.

Above is one of the only photos I have with my dad, as he was not a man to be in photos. He looked exactly the same as he does in that photo. It was jeans, a t-shirt, sneakers and his beanie everyday. I will never get his image out of my head and I still have a few voicemails on my phone from him, allowing me to hear his voice if even for just a few seconds. I know people lose their loved ones all the time, but I've never lost someone so close to me before and I guess I'm having a harder time than I thought. I'm strong though; he raised me to be strong - so I will be okay. But this sadness and hole in my heart will never go away.